Excused Absences

I couldn’t post last week. My friend’s child - 16, brilliant, wonderful - died last month. This week, we traveled to London for the funeral, and I couldn’t write past the sadness I felt. Mentioning it now makes me tear up. In a year full of sadness and crying, this event took the cake - needless and terrible. The other things that made me sad were expected, like the changes my parents are going through. They get to age but Jude Una did not.

But instead of dwelling on death, let me tell you a little about their life. At age 16, Jude was a fearless leader in Trans Kids Deserve Better, a trans rights group fighting to protect trans kids in the UK. This is utterly necessary because, as in the US, there are people who refuse to accept that children should have bodily autonomy and agency, and should make their healthcare decisions with their doctors and parents, rather than with J.K. Rowling and concern trolls and conservatives in government. Jude was a fearless leader in this movement, and led at least two notable protests. Last summer, TKDB occupied the UK Department of Education to protest policies that hurt trans kids. In October, TKDB released 6,000 crickets during an anti-trans conference, causing several anti-trans speeches to be canceled.

At Jude’s memorial, their friends spoke movingly about the impact they’d had on them personally through their loving leadership and support. Jude was a creative and critical thinker whose organizational capabilities far exceeded those of other activists in the room. Jude’s godmother, a civil rights lawyer who sues police and prisons for a living, spoke with awe about Jude’s work. And Jude’s parents spoke with heartbreaking love for their complicated, hilarious, wonderful child.

A week after Jude died, TKDB staged a Die-In in London’s Victoria Station to protest a recent ban on puberty blockers. If you are interested in honoring Jude’s life and work, Jude’s parents asked that donations be made to TransActual, Southwark Copwatch (can’t find the link, but I suspect Jude would appreciate a donation to any anti-police brutality group), and Young Roots.

A Few Other Recommendations

As we head into 2025, I am working on my New Year’s resolutions. I thought I’d wrap up with a final grab bag before I share my thoughts in that department.

A few essays I read this year have stuck in my mind. It’s Obviously the Phones is about the decline of sex and the rise of loneliness. Rumors Have Rules explains the differences between misinformation and disinformation, and how understanding how rumors spread can help us combat the tidal wave of shit information that is tearing apart our country. Finally, I can’t pinpoint one essay from Hamilton Nolan that has stuck in my head, because many of them do. Nolan writes about power and inequality and democracy and the labor movement. This post from How Things Work is a round-up of his 2024 posts, many of which are thought-provoking and interesting. Nolan also released his book The Hammer: Power, Inequality, and the Struggle for the Soul of Labor this year. I recommend the book and a (paid) subscription to How Things Work.

Finally, I’ll leave you with this De La Soul jam. It’s technically not a Christmas song, but it also is. Happy holidays!