#Grownupchallenge

When my older son was home for spring break, he remarked to me that his generation hadn’t been prepared for being adults. He thought COVID was partly to blame, but also overprotective parenting, and the overwhelming amount of information they are expected to ingest to make basic decisions. An example, when we opened our first bank accounts, we filled out a piece of paper at the bank, showed them our driver’s license (maybe), and gave the bank some money to start the account. It was straightforward, and you knew where your money was. You got a box of checks to use to pay for things or maybe got out cash. I’m old enough to remember getting an early ATM card. It was supposed to make it so much easier.

When my son wanted to open a bank account, he had to download an app, set up two-factor authentication, do an online application, go check his email to see if it was approved, and then figure out how to get money into the account. He had an existing account he shared with me, so he was able to transfer some money to start it but he had to wait for the ATM card, and then separately for the PIN, to arrive. In the name of convenience, everything is harder, especially for a person with, shall we say, a short attention span for boring or routine tasks (which is basically everyone).

There should be, I decided, a game or hashtag challenge on social media to teach people how to be a grown-up*. I brainstormed a bunch of categories and then made lists of tasks, in increasingly difficult order, that I associate with being an adult. If this were a game, you could score it by assigning increasing point values to the tasks, but as a social media challenge, you could see other people doing the tasks and maybe feel more confident doing them yourself. Unfortunately, I don’t have TikTok and doubt I could generate much interest in this challenge, due to my droll affect and inability to dance.

Enough throat-clearing. Here are the challenges (some of them are from a friend’s college to-do list):

FINANCIAL

• Set up a long-term savings account
• Get a mint.com account or set up a similar budget app (rocket money, e.g.)
• Get a credit card but only if you will be able to pay it off every month.
• Freeze your credit reports.
• Make an appointment with a certified financial planner.

GET ORGANIZED

• Set up a password manager
• Input all your personal information into the password manager (SSN, medical record number, account numbers, etc.)
• Add family contact details to your phone’s address book.
• Register with Selective Service.
• Register to vote by mail.
• Enroll in TSA PreCheck.
• Get a passport.

HEALTH

• Complete a healthcare proxy form.
• Sign up with an adult doctor.
• Get all your vaccinations.
• Get your wisdom teeth removed.
• Stop smoking.
• Sleep 7-8 hours every night, optimally between 10 PM and 8 AM.
• Make your best effort to eliminate ultra-processed food from your diet.

BY POST

• Write a Thank You note.
• Send a birthday card.
• Send a postcard.
• Send a condolence or congratulations card.
• Write a letter, and mail it.

DENTAL

• Brush your teeth two times in one day.
• Floss your teeth.
• Make a dental appointment
• Make the next appointment while you are there.
• Find out what dental insurance you have or may be entitled to.
• Get dental insurance for yourself.

CLEANING KITCHEN

• Sweep the floor or wipe down the counter without being asked.
• Load or unload the dishwasher without being asked.
• Empty old food from the fridge.
• Check expiration dates on condiments/dressings and toss the old stuff.
• Go through the freezer and use or toss older stuff.
• Wipe down the inside of the fridge.

CLOTHES

• Do your own laundry AND toss in something else with it (towels, e.g.)
• Sort lights and darks before washing.
• Do a load of laundry that is not your own clothes (sheets and towels)
• Iron something.
• Get a small sewing kit and repair/mend something.

ART

• Hang a piece of art on your wall even if it’s a postcard.
• Go to an art museum without being forced to by a parent.
• Take a date to an art museum.
• Buy art books (even secondhand).
• Buy a piece of art.

JOB

• Write a resume and have someone check it for you.
• Identify references and ask them if they can vouch for you as you . . .
• Apply for jobs.
• Work at a job for longer than a month.
• Sign up for the 401k as soon as you can and contribute to it, even if it’s a small amount.
• Identify someone who does what you are interested in and ask them questions about how they got there (via email, phone, or best of all, in person). Do this even if you have a job.

DEATH

• Do a healthcare power of attorney.
• Write a will.
• Get life insurance as soon as you can afford it. (This is mandatory if you are in a long-term relationship or have a kid)
• Make an estate plan with an estate planner.
• Put your home in a trust.

TAXES

• Start a folder for tax stuff. It will be for pay stubs, charitable donation receipts, and tax forms as they arrive (like a W-2 or 1099).
• File your own taxes on Form 1040 EZ.
• Get a tax software program.
• Get an accountant.

It’s a lot, right? Sixty-one distinct tasks that put a person on the road to being an adult. And I didn’t even get to the HOUSING, and SEX, LOVE, AND RELATIONSHIPS part of being a grown-up. No wonder everyone is overwhelmed.

I made this list for my sons**, who are unlikely read past the first paragraph, but maybe you can make this go viral in your house. Let me know if you think I missed something. And if you record a TikTok video #grownupchallenge, please send me the link.

*I don’t like to use the word ‘adult’ as a verb. Ironically, I think it sounds childish.

** In complete fairness to them, both my kids do some of these things already.