Happy 20 Weeks to Me
Celebrating a decent run, as these things go
I started this newsletter twenty weeks ago with the goal of posting at least two times per month, on Wednesdays, between May 17 and August 30. I’ve blown way past that goal by posting every week (on Wednesdays) since May 17, with no end in sight. This is my 20th week, which is by far the most consistent I’ve ever been in maintaining a writing habit (except maybe back in 2006 when only my husband and three friends read my blog).
Substack, the platform I’m writing on, suggests that newsletters must be *about* something in order to succeed. A lot of the newsletters on Substack, by the way, are about how to succeed on Substack. Instead of writing about a particular topic, which would have bored me long before 20 weeks passed, I’ve also stuck to my original premise of writing about whatever it is that I want to write about. I’ve written about music, books, ideas, TV, movies, unions, gardening, and I don’t even remember what else. I have a lot of other things I want to write about, so I’ll keep going.
Putting aside my own ideas for a moment, what would you like me to write about? Let’s make this an AMA (Ask Me Anything). Pop a question in the comments and I will answer it next week. Until then, here are this week’s “What I’m . . .”
What I’m Reading: I just finished I Have Some Questions For You by Rebecca Makkai which manages to be both a breezy cold case crime thriller and an insightful commentary on gender violence and cancel culture, but not in a heavy way. The book sparked for me the realization that “cold cases,” i.e. murders that have long gone unsolved, are often publicized when they involve sexual violence or just female victims. Murder clearance rates, i.e. the number of murders that get solved, are at an all-time low. Fewer than 50% of murders in the US are solved, and in Oakland, that rate hovers closer to 36%. That number includes “cold cases.” For recent murders, the clearance rate is closer to 27%. A lot of the cases that don’t get solved involve gun violence in communities that are reluctant to cooperate with police. I’ve gone off on a tangent away from the novel (which I do recommend) but it’s notable that podcasts and books and successful cold cases tend to focus on victims who are white women, and not young black men.
What I’m Listening To: Season 1 of The Dream podcast, about pyramid schemes multi-level marketing. It’s SO interesting to learn about the origins of direct sales and the history of MLMs. Originally, direct sales involved door-to-door salesmen, whose wares could be shoddy, leading towns and states to ban door-to-door sales. Companies then turned to women who could sell directly to their neighbors and friends at a fraction of the cost of a salesMAN. In addition, Madame CJ Walker and other Black female entrepreneurs needed a way to get Black beauty supplies to their customers when the mainstream distribution networks refused to carry Black products. Anyway, those are the non-terrible origins of what has become a fraudulent and exploitative business model that is condoned in the US because of the political influence of the Amway owner, Richard DeVos (Betsy’s father-in-law), who was also head of the Chamber of Commerce. Go listen.
What I’m Watching: Brook and I are toggling between Unforgotten, Season 5, and Special Ops: Lioness. Unforgotten is a UK cold case show that I am not going to spoil in any way for you. If you like mystery shows, I highly recommend watching Unforgotten from the beginning. I think it would be hard to drop into Season 5 and understand what the problem is for all the characters, and that’s all I’ll say about it. Lioness is, as the title suggests, a military/spy thriller with insanely high production values, lots of violence, and really interesting interpersonal drama. The main operatives are all women, so being CIA and a mother is a central part of the conflict of the show.
What I’m Playing: Fair Play, the card game. This card game is designed to make explicit all the domestic tasks that exist in a household/marriage and stoke conversation about how that labor should be divided between the adults in the family. It isn’t just about dealing the cards and doing the work; it’s about having a conversation about what each party expects and taking full responsibility for the tasks you’ve agreed to undertake. A lot of the tasks didn’t apply to Brook and me since our kids don’t need diaper changes (for example) but it was still good to talk through the minimum standard of care we applied to tasks. For example, is laundry finished when it’s dry, when it’s folded, or when it’s put away? This is definitely a game that every couple should play.
What I’m Doing: I’m currently planning a conference. I also just started a Pilates class. I’ll let you know how that goes. I also painted that apple up there. Hopefully what I’ll be doing next week is answering any question that you have in the whole universe. Go ahead, AMA.
