Hot Takes and Pet Peeves

Good Stuff for Everyone

In the spirit of Tim Walz sharing his hot take on gutters (My take is the most neglected part of home ownership is the gutters. It’s personal for me.”), I thought I would share a few hot (or at least medium temp) takes of my own.

Here’s one: Even cleaning ladies should have cleaning ladies. I know some people are uncomfortable with hiring other people to clean their homes. They may have privacy concerns or shame about the state of their home. They may feel like it’s bourgeoisie to have personal assistance. I understand. However, I think that we should see cleaning services as on par with therapy for improving our daily life, and we should compensate the people who clean our homes at a rate that reflects the dignity of that work. In turn, they should be able to afford a cleaning service of their own so that their own personal space is clean and enjoyable.

A related take: If I were made dictator for a day, I would mandate that everyone get a pedicure at least once. This mostly applies to men, but I know some women (and I was once one of them) who don’t like the feeling of being above another person and what that symbolizes as a power dynamic. It’s exacerbated by the literal design of the pedicure chair and the fact that many pedicurists are women from other countries. It’s awkward; I understand. But you can also get pedicure-like treatments from very well compensated podiatrists, and everyone should, at least once, know what it feels like to have your toenails properly trimmed. People are walking around with abominable, hideous, and frankly, painful looking toes, and they should know that there is an alternative way to live in this world. As above, pedicurists should be paid at a rate that better reflects the difficulty and dignity of the work. I bet 99.9% of pedicurists get pedicures already so don’t feel bad about getting one yourself.

My final “For Everyone” may be harder to implement. Recently a friend of my son was diagnosed with leukemia. I don’t know his family very well, and my son’s updates aren’t forthcoming, but I was invited to the young man’s Caringbridge page, so I can follow the news of his treatment. If you aren’t familiar with Caringbridge, it’s a website/service that allows people to share news about a person’s illness and also coordinate support for that person. For example, you can create a meal calendar, send supportive messages, and order flowers all from the page dedicated to the person. It takes the burden of mass communication off their loved ones and invites meaningful ways to support them. When I logged onto the young man’s Caringbridge page, I could read dozens of messages of love and support for him, and I thought, wow, wouldn’t it be nice if this were normalized for less extreme problems?

Like, if I were feeling depressed, my friend could post, “Andrea has been feeling low the past few days and is struggling to be happy,” and then everyone could log in with their love and support. I appreciate that if I posted on Facebook, people might leave those messages. It’s the normalizing part that’s difficult. We don’t feel comfortable sharing our low points, and we don’t think it’s appropriate to share the low points of others to invite response. We’ve attached shame to normal human feelings. FYI I feel fine right now. This isn’t about some current depressive episode. I’m just making an observation. Caringbridge for everyone.

Less of This

It’s been a while since I reflected on pet peeves, mine and others, but I’ve got a whole new crop to share.

First, from a friend: People who fail to properly use the words jealous and envious. These words are not synonymous. To be envious is to want something that someone else has. To be jealous is to not want to share something that you have. A jealous husband does not want other men to look at this wife. An envious husband wants to get the same riding lawn mover you have. Or to put it another way, a jealous husband won’t let you borrow his riding lawnmower, while an envious husband wants your wife.

My new pet peeves are all technology focused. I’ve complained before about the enshittification of the internet and how overwhelming basic operations like applying for a job or registering for school have become because of the complexity and opacity of the various web platforms used. I want to add to this: I am sick of Two Factor Authentication (TFA). A simplified explanation of TFA is all those verification codes that get texted to you every time you try to access your own information.

I understand the purpose of TFA. It’s a security measure to ensure that it is in fact me that is trying to access the information. Companies have insisted we use their systems for accessing our own stuff but then don’t make that system secure enough to protect our stuff. The onus shifts to us to remember specific passwords and protocols, and have the proper technology to receive their codes to access our stuff. Some even require whole other programs (authenticators) to generate means of access. Technology has allowed companies to cheaply add layers of bureaucracy that don’t even seem to protect our data/stuff, given the fact that I receive notice of security breaches at least twice a year, and I have to replace my debit card annually because something called The Tik Tok Shoppe tried to charge me multiple times for the very specific amount of $41.36. So yes, I hate TFAs.

Another thing I hate is when I agree to a phone call, even going so far as to tell someone to “call me,” and they send me a Zoom invite. If I wanted to have a video call, I would have said that. I don’t need to look at your face to communicate with you. This zoom call could have been a phone call, this phone call could have been an email, this email could have been a text. Or you could have fixed your own damn problem and left me alone.

Do you have any new pet peeves you would like me to address?

Have a happy and wonderful day off. Honor Labor!