My Annual New Year's Resolution Post, Part 1

Last year’s New Year’s Resolution post is worth a re-read, and I will share it again below, but first I wanted do a quick review of my 2024 goals to see how I did.

In 2024, I’m doubling down on [the strategy of saying no to things that don’t serve me]. I’m going to take a semi-sabbatical from work from June 1, 2024-January 3, 2025, and concentrate on writing. I also want to travel, and God willing, next year will be our first year with an empty nest. I turn 50 (imagine Molly Shannon high-kicking it here). With a tsunami of bad news from across the globe, I want to keep myself sane and centered so that I can show up for the people who need me and become the best version of myself yet.

1. “Saying no to things that don’t serve me” - Ha. We make plans, God laughs. While I didn’t add any superfluous obligations, I did a lot of stuff to help other people this year at the expense of my own plans. It’s a tendency I have that I’m not inclined to stop completely because I think it’s the right thing to do, but it really swamped my year.
2. Take a semi-sabbatical and concentrate on writing: This happened. I did reduce my workload, attended a writing retreat, hired an editor for one novel and a different editor for my memoir. I wrote many chapters of my second novel and wrote a TV pilot that was a finalist in a writing competition. I applied for several other residencies/writing programs and am attending one later this month. I maintained this blog, which feels like something. I feel disappointed that I didn’t “finish” any of my projects but maybe that was too much to ask of myself this year.
3. Empty nest: Not yet. Maybe 2025 will be the year this happens.
4. I turned 50. I wrote about how to create your own rituals to make sense of that milestone.
5. Travel a lot. Oh wow, did I travel a lot. So much so that I hope that I travel less in 2025. Here’s a little graphic I did about the places I went in 2024. It doesn’t even include the trip to NC I took.

I am going to do a separate post about my 2025 New Year’s Resolutions because, pursuant to our house rule, I have until the first business day of the new year to make them. If you are looking for my thoughts on the art of resolving, enjoy last year’s essay on the topic.

New Year Resolutions (edited)

New Year resolutions, and “self-help” generally, are premised on the idea of starting new habits like exercise or a better diet, or learning something new, like a language or musical instrument. Some involve breaking bad habits (like smoking) but mostly people are focused on adding to their lives. The irritating thing about the Resolution Industrial Complex is that it assumes that “just” adding something new to your life is easy. In fact, adding something new is exhausting and hard.

That’s because there’s a missing step. You cannot just start. You have to stop something first. You must stop the stuff that isn’t serving you.

Very Specific Goal Setting Advice

In the process of putting together my thoughts for this post, I watched a video on goal setting that had some interesting insights. I’m not linking to it because it was actually too long and a bit boring, so here are the highlights.

1. Make a list of five goals and then start eliminating them (or combining them) until you have just one goal.
2. That goal should be specific and measurable.
3. Do not share your goal with anyone else. Research shows that telling someone your goal rewards your brain with a little happy bath of chemicals that are de-motivating, as though sharing your goal is the reward, and thus the goal is complete.
4. Don’t celebrate every win. Again, rewards can breed complacency about goals. Short celebrations and then back to work!
5. Now plan how you will reach your goal by breaking it down into concrete tasks.

Even More Advice

I also listened to a good podcast (Try This) about sleep and it had this amazing suggestion: Every day, schedule in some Worry Time. Take 15 minutes and write down everything that is worrying you. In a column to the right of each item, note whether there’s anything you can do about it in the next two weeks. For the items that you answered YES, add the specific action you can take, and when you will take that action. When you go to bed, if anxiety is keeping you awake, you can remember that you have already worried about everything and made a plan for the items you can do something about.

Admittedly, that last paragraph has nothing to do with goal setting or the new year or anything. Think of it as bonus advice, especially if better sleep is on your New Year’s Resolution list.